TV shows that had the best holiday episodes

Now that we've officially entered the holiday season, the networks have begun to dust off the shelves of their video libraries labeled "Holiday stuff." The Grinch, Charlie Brown, and even good ol' George Bailey are getting their annual moments in the spotlight, and while I'm definitely not complaining about this, personally I prefer to get my Christmas nostalgia fix from the actual TV shows I've watched and loved. Nothing against the Peanuts gang, or whatever computer-animated movie tie-ins other people prefer, but when characters I'm more familiar with are celebrating the holidays, that's where I want to be.

The Simpsons

Episode: "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire"
Most people's first introduction to the Simpson family was through this episode, the first-ever full episode of The Simpsons to air on Fox. Although the series was already in production (and this was originally intended to be its eighth episode), Fox decided to air it as a holiday special. I remember that my family gathered to watch it (my mom was almost immediately outraged by its coarseness), and then the next day at school everyone was talking about it. We all loved how Bart lied about his age to get a tattoo and how badly Homer's attempts at decorating the house went, but what's most notable about this episode today is just how sad it is. The Simpsons began as a fairly thoughtful portrayal of a lower-middle-class family, and Homer's inability to afford Christmas gifts for his family was a straight-up bummer. Fortunately everything ended on an up note, when Homer rescued Santa's Little Helper (the last-place finishing greyhound from the dog track) and he turned out to be just the right present for the family.

The Office (USA)

Episode: "Christmas Party"
Not to be controversial, but even today, in its eighth, post-Michael Scott season, The Office remains a reliably hilarious show. But there's certainly no denying that it'll probably never regain the creative energy of Seasons 2 or 3, and that could simply be due to those seasons' still-awkward personal relationships. In the Season 2 episode "Christmas Party," Jim and Pam's connection was still unspoken when he drew her name in the Secret Santa gift exchange. Using the opportunity to give her a very thoughtful gift, a teapot filled with personal items and even a love note, Jim saw his effort suddenly turn disastrous when Michael Scott announced a "Yankee Swap," in which co-workers could poach each other's gifts. The Office is truly on fire whenever it can nail both workplace awkwardness and frustrated romance, and that this episode did both with the added layer of holiday poignancy just makes it an all-time classic.

The O.C.

Episode: "The Best Chrismukkah Ever"
I assure you, I'm not writing about The O.C. for the second week in a row simply to post another picture of Adam Brody. But yeah, just look at him up there with that candy cane and menorah! Anyway, the Season 1 holiday episode, "The Best Chrismukkah Ever," created a buzzword in an already watercooler-worthy season. "Chrismukkah" may have been a cute distillation of two holidays, but it actually represented something pretty thoughtful about the state of modern America, our mixed faiths, and our common love of celebration. Add to that the first ever appearance of Oliver, The O.C.'s most notorious villain, and this episode had all the markings of a winner.

Pee-wee's Playhouse

Episode: "Christmas Special"
Grace Jones. Cher. Charo. Frankie & Annette. Shirtless construction workers. Just a normal children's Christmas special, really. It's honestly hard to describe just how great, weird, wonderful and hilarious the Pee-wee's Playhouse Christmas Special is. Ooops, I just did!

Roseanne

Episode: "No Place Like Home for the Holidays"
Roseanne's status as an American classic is mainly due to its ability to turn everyday middle-class bummers into relatably hilarious moments. The show may have been fronted by a brusque, bossy mom, but it never lacked for heart, and all these elements seemed to gel perfectly during Roseanne's various holiday episodes. This Season 5 episode found the Conners forced apart by a snowstorm and Darlene discovering just how bad David's home life was. The family's eventual reunion was made all the more powerful by the reminder that despite, their flaws and shortcomings, the Conners really had it made.

Sesame Street

Episode: "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street"
Few people remember that back in the heady, pre-Elmo days of 1978, Sesame Street was considered fairly edgy for children's television. I mean, think about it: Sesame Street itself was in kind of a junky neighborhood, and the show didn't shy away from more adult concepts presented in thoughtful ways. In "Christmas Eve on Sesame Street," Bert and Ernie touchingly acted out their own version of O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi" (if you're not familiar, the 10-minute clip is absolutely worth your time), plus the episode tackled the topic of "How does Santa deliver presents to houses that don't have chimneys?"—which was major for kids who didn't grow up with a working fireplace. Yes, in retrospect, the opening with Big Bird throwing a little girl around an ice rink and Oscar the Grouch on skates feels kind of dated and weird, but that heartfelt weirdness is part of what makes this a treasure worth holding onto.

The Office (UK)

Episode: "Christmas Special, Part 2"
The original U.K. version of The Office only ran for 14 episodes, but they were perfect. It's a bit of a cheat to single out this Christmas special as a high-point when it was also the series finale, but still: This thing is great. Few expected such a devastatingly grim series to end on such a poignant, emotionally positive note, but we definitely aren't complaining.

My So-Called Life

Episode: "So-Called Angels"
For a show in which basically every episode was Very Special, My So-Called Life's 1994 Christmas episode was simply devastating. When the gay character Rickie was beaten and kicked out of his house, Angela and her clueless upper-middle-class family tormented themselves over what to do about it. And what about that scene where typically aloof Jordan Catalano reached out to Rickie? Not to mention Rayanne's hilarious teen hotline phone sex scene with Brian Krakow. But the part everyone remembers is the local homeless teen girl played by '90s alt-rock icon Juliana Hatfield. I won't give away the ending here, but it's a doozy. And it involves tears.

Seinfeld

Episode: "The Strike"
FESTIVUS: FOR THE REST-OF-US!

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I think this list is missing all the great Rugrats holiday episodes. 

Stanley from "The Office" like you've never seen him before

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The Office's Mindy Kaling on dating men, not boys

Sometimes I eavesdrop on people.

I could rationalize it—oh, this is good anthropological research for characters I’m writing—but it’s basically just nosiness. It also helps me gauge where I’m at: Am I normal? Am I doing the correct trendy cardio exercises? Am I reading the right books? Is gluten still lame? It was through eavesdropping that I learned that you could buy fresh peanut butter at Whole Foods from a machine that grinds it in front of you. I had wasted so much of my life eating stupid old already-ground peanut butter. So, yeah, I highly recommend a little nosiness once in a while.

Recently I listened in on two attractive thirtyish women talking over brunch. I heard the following:

Girl #1 (pretty girl, Lululemon yoga pants, great body): Jeremy just finished his creative writing program at Columbia. But now he wants to maybe apply to law school.

Girl #2 (tiny girl, sheet of black hair, strangely huge breasts): Oh, God.

Lululemon: What?

32D: How many grad schools is he going to go to?

Lululemon: I know. But it’s not his fault. No publishers are buying short stories from unfamous people. Basically, you have to be Paris Hilton to sell books these days.

32D: For the 10 years that Jeremy has been out of college doing entry-level job after entry-level job and grad school, you’ve had a job that has turned into a career.

Lululemon: Yeah, so?

32D: Jeremy’s a boy. You need a man.

Lululemon did not take this well, as I’d anticipated. I felt bad for Lulu because I’ve been Lulu. It’s really hard when you realize the guy you’ve been dating is basically a high schooler at heart. It makes you feel like Mary Kay Letourneau. It’s the worst.

Until I was 30, I dated only boys. I’ll tell you why: Men scared the sh*t out of me. Men know what they want. Men own alarm clocks. Men sleep on a mattress that isn’t on the floor. Men buy new shampoo instead of adding water to a nearly empty bottle of shampoo. Men make reservations. Men go in for a kiss without giving you some long preamble about how they’re thinking of kissing you. Men wear clothes that have never been worn by anyone else before.

OK, maybe men aren’t exactly like this. But this is what I’ve cobbled together from the handful of men I know or know of, ranging from Heathcliff Huxtable to Theodore Roosevelt to my dad. The point: Men know what they want, and that is scary.

What I was used to was boys.

Boys are adorable. Boys trail off their sentences in an appealing way. Boys get haircuts from their roommate, who “totally knows how to cut hair.” Boys can pack up their whole life and move to Brooklyn for a gig if they need to. Boys have “gigs.” Boys are broke. And when they do have money, they spend it on a trip to Colorado to see a music festival.

Boys can talk for hours with you in a diner at three in the morning because they don’t have regular work hours. But they suck to date when you turn 30.

When I was 25, I went on exactly four dates with a much older guy whom I’ll call Peter Parker. I’m calling him Peter Parker because, well, it’s my story, and I’ll name a guy I dated after Spider-Man’s alter ego if I want to.

Peter Parker was a comedy writer who was a smidgen more accomplished than I but who talked about everything with the tone of “you’ve got a lot to learn, kid.” He gave me lots of unsolicited advice about how to get a job “if The Office got canceled.” After a while, it became clear that he thought The Office would get canceled, and by our fourth and last date, that he clearly thought it should get canceled.

Why am I bringing up Peter Parker? Because he was the first real man I dated. An insufferable yet legit man.

Peter owned a house. It wasn’t ritzy or anything, but he’d really made it a home. The walls were painted; there was art in frames. He had installed a flat-screen TV and speakers. There was just so much screwed into the walls, so much that would make you lose your deposit. I marveled at the brazenness of it. Peter’s house reminded me more of my house growing up than of a college dorm room. I’d never seen that before.

Owning a house obviously wasn’t enough to make me want to keep dating Peter. Like I said, he was kind of a condescending dick. But I observed in Peter a quality that I knew I wanted in the next guy I dated seriously: He wasn’t afraid of commitment.

At this point you might want to smack me and say: “Are you seriously just another grown woman talking about how she wants a man who isn’t afraid of commitment?” Let me explain! I’m not talking about commitment to romantic relationships. I’m talking about commitment to things—houses, jobs, neighborhoods. Paying a mortgage. When men hear women want a commitment, they think it means commitment to a romantic relationship, but that’s not it. It’s a commitment to not floating around anymore. I want a guy who is entrenched in his own life. Entrenched is awesome.

So I’m into men now, even though they can be frightening. I want a schedule-keeping, waking-up-early, wallet-carrying, picture-hanging man. I don’t care if he takes prescription drugs for cholesterol or hair loss. (I don’t want that, but I can handle it. I’m a grown-up too.)

I know I’m only marginally qualified to be giving advice. I’m not married, I frequently use my debit card to buy things that cost less than three dollars, and my bedroom is so untidy it looks like vandals ransacked the Anthropologie sale section. I’m kind of a mess. I did, however, fulfill a childhood dream of writing, producing and acting in television and movies. Armed with that confidence, alongside a lifelong love of the sound of my own voice, I’m giving you this bit of wisdom: When you turn 30—maybe even before—a fun thing to try is dating men. It’ll be like freshly ground peanut butter, times a million.

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Truth.